Looking at my state in life and being honest with myself I determined the rut breaker would have to be my life outside work. My job was not challenging in the least but I had a nice vague title in a large company that is highly respected in society. I get paid more than some managers in other companies, definitely retail or restaurant managers and yet I put in less hours, have less responsibilities, and less “performance stress”. So, yeah, I’d be an idiot to quit – (but then again many people do call me an idiot so that door is not closed) so my real life needed attention. Heck, more than that it needed to actually be built! Ok so what is next? Significant other? As much as that would be great, I had no life to locate such a person.
First decision is made though, in reference to a significant other candidate, definitely not someone I work with. Too much potential for soap opera type drama. That resolved I tried to figure out what hobby or area of interest I had out side of work that may be a potential arena to locate a significant other. Ok, you are probably wondering if sharing this amount of detail is really necessary in order to tell you what happened a couple days ago. Have you ever had someone tell you something or a story about something that happened and at the end when you should be experiencing the “ah ha” moment instead you stare and share the “huh” moment? Then after discussing the loss of understanding they remember an important part of the story that they forgot to tell and then you have “ah ha” moment followed quickly by “what an idiot” moment for screwing up the story and wasting so much of your time? Ok – I am doing my best to avoid that scenario, you can thank me later.
So what would suffice to be an interest I could explore and build an enjoyable life outside of work? Of course key to being an enjoyable life outside of work would that it would include a significant other. That is the foundation, the walls, roof, etc. (I wonder if that is why the Commodores sang “She is a Brickhouse”?)
How am I going to determine the best fit? Ask parents? No way! You & I know that the average or so-called normal parent will continue the childhood lies of yester year. “Yes darling you are a wonderful artist.” The drawing consists of circles and triangles and what I was trying to draw was a football player. Yeah, I was twelve. The flood of lies flood the mind in reference to piano lessons, baseball practice, or shop. Ask a friend? That for me is unfortunately not possible since I do not have a friend but do have co-worker acquaintances. Internet search? Tried it and let me say that is a truly weird world out there. Go to a bar or night club, nada. I don’t drink so I don’t want a potential alcoholic partner and let me say I draw better than I dance.
I decided to go to a bookstore. Huh? The train of thought was first they have quite a few magazines which are displayed by categories or areas of interest. Secondly, the same approach is managed for books. Why not the library? A lot of reasons but first is the Dewey system for categorizing books is problematic enough – definitely not user-friendly. Gee what does 201.123 have to offer me? By the way I made that number up so if it happens to be linked to something about naked yoga, sex for seniors, or anything else embarrassingly similar it was completely by accident. Honest.