Own worst enemy – ch16

I laid in bed, my mind spinning, my eyes closed, and the world going on as it does not concerned in the least with me, my family, or peers. In my mind’s eye I kept seeing Tess which was not helping me go to sleep. My body as a whole was letting me know it needed to recharge if I expected to make it through tomorrow. [My ears/mind rings at night. No, actually it rings all the time but I am more aware of it at night when I lie down in bed for sleep. I think that is part of the reason why I sleep with a fan in the doorway. I am allowing the fans hum to drown out my ears ringing. But I digress…]

My mind decided this was the perfect time to replay each item of interest from the day. If it would do that while I slept at least I would get the sleep but my mind’s timing didn’t care.

“Well idiot how much coffee did you consume today?”

“More than usual.”

“That is an understatement. Let’s see if we can count the cups…”

“No, no, that is not necessary…”

“2 pots worth at IHOP…”

“Shut up! I need to sleep…”

“I am only processing because of the level of caffeine intake today – that is not my fault…”

“Ok, ok, I am sorry…”

“You should be – then you still had to stop for a venti size bold coffee at …”

“For the love of God please stop – I need sleep….”

“9:09 you filled up your mug at the break station…”

“I am not listening anymore, I need to sleep. Goodnight.”

“11:42 mug refill after your lunch…”

“What can I do? Peaceful thoughts, yeah, babbling brook…”

“I gotta go to the bathroom”

“Oh for…”

“Again, not my mind fault, how much did you drink today?”

So I got up, went to the bathroom and bypassed the bedroom and all of its noise and sat in the living room and turned on the television. I looked at the onscreen guide and found a NCIS repeat and turned it on. Now I had some friends in the room to outnumber my mind. (Why does boss always give Abbey a kiss on the cheek? Sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen or at least some probie will come in and now knowing how the team works report it to HR. You and I know you do not want to be involved with HR. But I digress…)

I watched and quietly sneaked off to sleep.

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