Own worst enemy – ch16

I laid in bed, my mind spinning, my eyes closed, and the world going on as it does not concerned in the least with me, my family, or peers. In my mind’s eye I kept seeing Tess which was not helping me go to sleep. My body as a whole was letting me know it needed to recharge if I expected to make it through tomorrow. [My ears/mind rings at night. No, actually it rings all the time but I am more aware of it at night when I lie down in bed for sleep. I think that is part of the reason why I sleep with a fan in the doorway. I am allowing the fans hum to drown out my ears ringing. But I digress…]

My mind decided this was the perfect time to replay each item of interest from the day. If it would do that while I slept at least I would get the sleep but my mind’s timing didn’t care.

“Well idiot how much coffee did you consume today?”

“More than usual.”

“That is an understatement. Let’s see if we can count the cups…”

“No, no, that is not necessary…”

“2 pots worth at IHOP…”

“Shut up! I need to sleep…”

“I am only processing because of the level of caffeine intake today – that is not my fault…”

“Ok, ok, I am sorry…”

“You should be – then you still had to stop for a venti size bold coffee at …”

“For the love of God please stop – I need sleep….”

“9:09 you filled up your mug at the break station…”

“I am not listening anymore, I need to sleep. Goodnight.”

“11:42 mug refill after your lunch…”

“What can I do? Peaceful thoughts, yeah, babbling brook…”

“I gotta go to the bathroom”

“Oh for…”

“Again, not my mind fault, how much did you drink today?”

So I got up, went to the bathroom and bypassed the bedroom and all of its noise and sat in the living room and turned on the television. I looked at the onscreen guide and found a NCIS repeat and turned it on. Now I had some friends in the room to outnumber my mind. (Why does boss always give Abbey a kiss on the cheek? Sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen or at least some probie will come in and now knowing how the team works report it to HR. You and I know you do not want to be involved with HR. But I digress…)

I watched and quietly sneaked off to sleep.

Published by

icubud

Glory to God in the highest, THEN - peace on earth and goodwill to men (Luke 2:14). So peace on earth and goodwill to the human race can not occur until their is first - Glory to God in the highest. This will never be accomplished nor desired by the UN or the USA governments. Hence the Second Advent. Moment by moment I want to grow correctly in the grace, knowledge, wisdom and understanding of ALMIGHTY GOD. Spiritually I consider myself a saved Bible believer but so as to hopefully avoid some of the stigma that is heavily steeped on anyone who does not designate a denomination, I must consider myself an independent saved Bible believing Baptist. But Baptist denominations are highly polluted with leaven and such. I am a Christian in the true definition of the word which is given in Acts 11:26. Roman Catholicism and Orthodox Catholicism are NOT Christian. R.C. has been a great and successful tool in 1) making people not want to be a Christian and 2) making the majority of its believers/followers/members die and go to hell. I have great concern for everyone's present, temporal state of things and the future, eternal state of things. Politically I consider myself an independent, that unfortunately due to the limited choices, usually votes Republican. I am praying for legitimate third and fourth parties to gain traction in our society so that they will provide some better candidates. I am hoping for a bloodless American Spring. I believe one of the greatest detriments to our society here in the USA is the MSM (mainstream media), the judicial system and Congress. MAGA!! WWG1WGA #45 #17 Our country needs to make term limits for those who hold a seat in Congress. The individual can not serve more than 8 years in their lifetime in any capacity of Congress. And yes I voted for Trump both times and will do so again. Some people I admire: The Lord Jesus Christ (wholly God and wholly man), all those who gave their lives as recorded in the Foxe's Book of Martyrs and those since then that have been executed because they would not deny their saving faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, William Tyndale, John Wycliffe, Matthew Rogers, Gipsy Smith, DL Moody, Clarence Larkin, Ronald Reagan, John Knox, Martin Luther, Apostle Paul, the 12 disciples/apostles listed in Acts 1, Samuel the prophet, William Evans, Ph.D., D.D., Litt. D, Edward F. Hills A.B. - Yale, Th.M. - Columbia, Th.D. - Harvard; JTC, Archbishop James Ussher, John Frith, Erasmus, Alexander Hislop, Avro Manhattan, Dean Burgon, 161 1 KJV Bible Translators, Susanna Wesley, Susannah Thompson Spurgeon, PSR & Gail Riplinger. Some "things" that I like: Conscientiousness, well-marked books, kindness, romance, appreciation, morals, empathy, big hugs, nuzzling, eyes, long hair, gray/silver hair, beauty, modesty, when a women is a "lady", good coffee, windy days or nights, the sound of rain, cold weather, spring, autumn (except all the leaves to rake), roaring fire in the fireplace or pit, a good meal, gestures from a loving or friendly heart, the oceans/large lakes, music, coffee houses/cafes, books!, grand libraries, well used bookshelves, peace, white fluffy clouds in a blue sky, birds nesting, bunnies!, chipmunks!, wildlife when its not predatory, learning, smell of bread or pizza baking, the smell of coffee, the Basque, collection of information/data/inputs of various kinds, snow, gratitude, connecting the dots in life, old people still in love and are best friends, a good mystery, good film/tv/etc., internet, clocks and watches, trains/railroad, symbols, history of many types, good conversation/discussion, my music collection, studying the Bible, a well-marked Bible, crunchy snacks, handwritten correspondence & journals/notes, preparing meals for people who will appreciate it, beautiful gardens, blueprints, maps, REAL friends, boat rides, good Bible preaching/teaching, the mountains, the wilderness, hiking, teamwork, correspondence, wisdom, simplicity in the right places & quiet. Some "things" I loathe: The Alexandrian Cult and its supporters, FAKES, bullying, making fun of people, grief, taking advantage of people, neglect, disregard of others, raunchiness, hate, bossy people, brutality, war, fighting, cursing, degradation of society, evil, wickedness, narcissism, liars, abuse of any kind, loss of innocence, smell of burnt popcorn, nosy people, death, fake friends, disingenuous, being forgotten, not being valued, loss, broken heart, deceit, disrespect, manipulators, arrogance, loud people, troublemakers, self-entitlement, non-stop talkers who are completely self-absorbed and make everything in someway related to themselves,

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