Some hard fought wisdom from Ms. Fitts that I am sure others will benefit from:
My use of the word turtle as a verb began in 1998 during a period of extraordinary stress.
Almost all of my 1,001 best friends and colleagues decided to go with the flow of the financial coup d’etat. That meant playing along with the lawlessness towards our fellow man involved. I did not. I split away from the herd.
This made me a target.
Being a target is time consuming. I was ordered by a complex governmental matrix to do more work each week than I had hours to do or resources to fund. I faced a mountain of demands from parties who regularly ignored and broke the law. The double standards numbered in the hundreds, then thousands. My name brand accountants lied and dirty tricked me. My name brand lawyers lied to me. Partners and employees lied and dirty tricked. Family members betrayed. (Story here and gruesome details here)
The ultimate goal was to “kill, steal and destroy.” The process was brutal. There was no mercy and little kindness. The goal was to get me to kill myself or go mad and to so handicap me that I could be proved a “failure” in the eyes of the world.
Instead, I decided to “turtle.”
I ignored the fact that my situation was hopeless and chose to “turtle” forward. I did my best. I went slow and detailed. I never stopped taking action, moving forward.
I appreciated those who helped, no matter how modest their contribution was. I chose to be grateful and to trust that I was moving out of that which was unhealthy to where I belonged.
I made a list of things that gave me joy at no cost called “the beauty list.” When my heart was breaking, I would pull out the list and do something for myself.
I had candles in the office in midday. I took a break to listen to Bach’s Goldberg Variations and return to a state of coherence.
I had a list of “good things to get done” like cleaning out my closets. When the work demands were too frightening or overwhelming and the black cloud of sorrow would let me do no more, I would pull out that list and do a day of “good things to get done.”
No matter how bad things are you can always clean your closets. Or shine your leather goods. Or reorganize your books. Or call someone who is sick or hurting to see how they are doing. Or cook up a slow simmering pot of chicken soup.
When you wake up the next day, progress has been made. Forward action is a “force multiplier.” The divine intelligence has responded with a note of gratitude and support.
Giving up on corporate media, I decided to simply start answering questions that people sent me – by e-mail, by letter, my phone. I believed that the pathway towards where I was going could be found by being useful to people. No better place to start than with the people who are taking time out of their day to ask me a question. Ultimately those questions and answers evolved into the Solari Report.
I did not develop a business plan. I did not raise capital. I just did my best to help people build an honest map of our world so they could navigate wisely. I turtled my way into a business that serves people I care about and helps me live a free and inspired life.
Each day I turtle forth. My situation has improved enormously. However, much of the world’s situation has not. It is as if the lawlessness that I experienced two decades ago is eating its way around the world. As I watch the cultural debasement and financial and legal lawlessness touch another person’s life, sometimes I think with no pleasure “welcome to my world.”
If it touches you today, pay no mind and turtle forth. There is a wonderful world full of good people and good things. Anything is possible when you leave hopelessness behind.